Ahhh...Halloween

It's that time of year again.  Kids dressing up, running around being little monsters.  Yes, it's Halloween.  I thought of writing something witty like, I don't know...teachers in service day.  However I decided to be classy and go against that notion.  Anywhoo, is it weird the younger generation is getting lazier and lazier? For some odd reason, passing out cookies this year, I've seen a lot of parents dropping off their kids in front of houses and then have the kids hop back in and go to the next house?  No bloody way.  Back in my day, and I only did trick or treating once in my life, I walked the entire time.  What is going on nowadays?  *Sigh* times are way too different.

So this year for Kate's Halloween party me and Jay lost a friend, and we came down to be a 2 man crew.  Seriously difficult year for us.  I missed Dave, we needed a third person, it was easier.  Well, Occupy Wall Street was our costume.  Not so proud of it this year, but guess what next year we come back with a vengeance and ten times better.

Hmm...what else on this awesome Halloween...Kim...oh hell no, I will never write her name on this blog...NEVER!!  Besides  it was a good time for a Halloween.  Tons of kids in their awesome costumes.  I'm looking forward to bringing my kids trick or treating.  It's awesome.  Keeping it short tonight ladies and gents...

I like to say one thing though.  It has been a very very weird year for me.  I don't know where the future leads, but I can say that I'm looking forward to it.  May the next few years be as amazing as a the last.  It has all been a very very bright learning experience.  Let's keep on learning.

Sippin on Ace

Uhhn tss, uhhnn tsss, uhhnn tss...just got a beat in my head going.  So, I'm sipping on a cafe mocachiato.  It's delicious.  Straight up espresso, with a milk foam cream top.  Quite heavenly.  So what am I doing at a coffee shop on a Wednesday?  Well, I have a little writing to catch up on, I've only had 3 journal entries since I've been back.  So I definitely have to get to writing.  I've just realized, my heart is pumping a hundred miles a minute.  Shouldn't had that double of cafe mocachiato.  Can't sit still, so this is going to be pretty short.

Been looking to go back to school lately.  Contemplating whether it is the right choice or not.  Not that I have any regrets in life, it's just that I wish I had chosen to stick with my first passion.  Science.  I loved biology, anatomy, organic, all of it.  Why did I quit?  I just got bored, now I'm regretting it, I guess if were to commit, I should probably do it soon.  However, I've been reading all these books on options and finance.  Do I stick with it?  I'm not a business man, I'm a "Business," man.  Oh Jay-Z, you've taught me nothing but greatness.  Thank you.

Mr. Hudson...enjoy.

Music

My taste in music has always been different.  I remember the first son I have ever heard.  It was an 80's song, and I was still a wee little boy, my sisters and brother were all about the 80s especially CL.  I think it was Tiffany's, "I Think We're Alone Now."  Thank god that did not shape the way I listened to music.  However since that day I was hook.  What is it about melodies, harmonies, and rhythm of music?  I don't know what it is however it's lovely.  Back in my day I listened to things that had no meaning, just your regular bubblegum pop.  I still love it, however music has more meaning to me now.

Country music, my very first foray into the land of music.  I would listen to Garth Brooks and, "The Thunder Roll," for hours on end.  It made me happy knowing that I had, "Friends in Low Places."  Life was good, and I was naive, country music would not last long, I realized it got very similar very fast, but it was always comforting.  I think it was the mid 90's and on that really got me hooked.

Ahh...grunge, alternative, rock!  Rock when it was making its resurgence.  It was good fun listening to the pains in life, it all hurts.  But to get over it you would rock out.  Better than Ezra, Stone Temple Pilots, Reel Big Fish, and way too much to list.  It was a crazy time.  You can't imagine it.  However, you will never realize that the music touched my soul.  I guess I got the bite, I guess I should have picked up an instrument  at this point.  Why didn't I do it?  I don't know why?  However life could have been really different if I had just done it.

Yes, I have a rap stage.  It's odd isn't it?  No of course not, lyrics and rhyme, the beat of the music.  It was all good.  I learn to enjoy Biggie, Tupac, Dr. Dre, and of course my all time favorites Kanye West and Jay-Z.  Awesome.  They are good, really good.  However, my musical taste didn't end there.  It is actually just the beginning.

Here I am now.  A little older, a little wiser.  And my taste in musical stylings have certainly changed.  Kina, yes her name is popping up again.  She has inspired me into so much.  Imogen Heap, Bon Iver, and others.  However, she not only opened my eyes to different music, but she also introduced me to one of the most important things in my life.  The freedom to play an instrument.  She gave me the idea and chance to pick up the guitar.  She is my inspiration, and even though I may not play it perfectly, with more practice and time, it can only get better.  Thanks Kina, you are a real inspiration, thank you for introducing me to music I usually wouldn't listen to, and now love.  I listen to a lot of indie stuff, and I even enjoy my occasional emo music.  However guess what, I listen to everything, and my taste in music has become very eclectic.  What do you enjoy?  What do you like?  Any suggestions for me?

Well, it is different, but it's what I like.  Enjoy the song tonight everyone.  It's a good one.

Dear 16 Year Old Self

The following blog is a letter to my 16 year old self...let the rules of the butterfly effect not be part of this.

Dear 16 Year Old Self,

This is a letter to you, to let you realize that there will be bumpy times ahead, and to also let you know, there are many, many, many great times ahead.  The good will definitely out weigh the bad.  You may not like what you hear, and you may not enjoy what you think is lecture.  However, this will all benefit you in the future.  You should learn from it, and take the experiences that I have learned to heart.  You may think I'm just an old square right now as you're reading this, but trust me.  I have the experience, and I know what is ahead.

So let's begin, 16 year old self, in a couple of years, you will be telling yourself, "Omg, time has flew by, I'm going to college already, and these last four years were amazing."  Trust me you will be saying this, this is one of the many conversations you will have on the bus with Jay.  Oh and by the way young self, Omg = oh my god.  Enjoy high school, you are right, it will be the time of your life.  You will gain so many friends and experiences.  You will forever have the memories of the greatest time of your life.  It is a blast, and you will understand when college starts.  I understand you are bitching and moaning right now, because you are stuck in a restaurant, but trust me, that restaurant is worth it.  By frankly when you get older, you're going to want to go back in.  It may one day be your passion in life.  So cherish what you have, don't take any of it for granted, those experiences that you have now, are going to be life experiences and work ethics that you will forever carry with you when you will be out in the real world.  The friends you have are all very special at this age.  They all think you are great, believe in them, you are a pretty nice kid.  However pay special attention to a few of them.  They will break your balls in the future because they think you were a big shot, however keep reminding them, you are nothing without them.  Especially David W. Haberle, he is one of your greatest friends in the future.  You think you are cool with him now, playing chess and other stuff in study hall.  But he is one of your best friends in the future, you will die for that kid if you had to, and I know for a fact that he would do the same for you.  He will join the Tripod, to create a table that will stand strong.  I would mention DeMaria and Jay, but you know in your heart, you will not separate easily from those two goof balls, and you will be right.

Enjoy college 16 year old self.  It is more of a blast than you think.  Study more, drink less, party less.  Scratch that last part, try to do both.  Whether you think the path you are on is wrong or right, you will not know until you get there.  It may seem hard, and you may get bored of it, but stick with what you started with.  It will one day be your greatest strength.  Enjoy each minute of it, you will meet one of your future best friend there as well.  He is a hoot, a kid from Cherry Hill, you will meet him in a marketing class possibly.  You will talk about things, and think that he really is a great guy and good friend.  You may get competitive with him in marketing, but that's how he is.  He's competitive.  George Henehan will become the umbrella in the middle of the table that has been created.  You will stand strong, and Georgie will protect us when we need him most.  He is strong willed, and the most hilarious drunk that you will meet, you don't know it, but George will play an important role in your life.  He is good people, Beyonce told me so.

Love.  Do not fall for the t.v. and movie theater love story.  Love is nothing like that, you probably watched, "Can't Hardly Wait," for the umpteenth time by now.  Love is nothing like that.  Quite frankly, it's more like, "500 Days of Summer."  You will meet many women in your life 16 year old self.  You don't think you're a stud machine, and guess what? You aren't.  However you are a gentleman to the very end and chivalry isn't dead.  Remember you have 3 sisters, treat them with respect.  Treat all women with respect.  There will be a period when you will get your heart broken.  It is the tragedies in life.  It will hurt, and it will continue to hurt, and it will be a while till you feel better.  You will feel jaded towards women, and you will be with women you have no love towards.  It is just the way it is young self.  You will not believe in love, you will think getting some is the answer, you will think it's just easy to just do what you need to do and leave.  You will break hearts, and you will not love.  You will drink.  You will drink until you feel no pain.  You will drink more alcohol than your liver can handle, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you will get over it.  Believe me, you will.  If you can learn one thing from me, learn that the answers in life are not at the bottom of a bottle of scotch.  It will all be a distant memory, and who knows, you may even be able to go back and be friends with her again.  There will be other women who will come to you in life, and there will be one who you will love.  She will remind you that love is possible again.  She will break a piece of the ice that surrounds your heart, and your heart will be able to start beating again.  Even if you may not talk to her for a while, you will.  Don't let such a precious friend go.  She is too kindhearted to be treated that way.  She was a friend, treat her as one.  Let it go, let it all go.  It's not worth it.  You will find happiness, it just won't be handed to you.  Earn it.

16 year old self, you may not believe it when I tell you this, but believe it.  You will travel, you will travel the world.  Learn from it, the Italian course that you are taking now.  Keep learning, if you can keep learning, you will use it.  You will go to Amsterdam, Italy, and hopefully Japan, a new spot every year.  You will learn so much and realize, there is bigger piece of the world out there.  Your problems will be petty, and you will realize life is way to short to even have problems like the ones you will have.  Do as much traveling as you can.  You will not regret it.  You will come across things in life, and realize that you are very insignificant.  All the trips that Ching Ping tells you about, they are important.  Learn from her.  CP is highly intelligent.  She knows more than you think.  She is wise beyond her years.  She knows more than you will ever realize, and traveling is part of that.

Family, 16 year old self, family is very important.  They will be the ones to always take care of you.  Do not take them for granted.  Remember that.  CP will give you more life experience than you can ever imagine.  She seems like a know it all, but that's because she does know a lot.  Ching L. and Ching T. will be there to take care of you.  No matter how much a pain in the ass they can be sometimes, they mean well.  Listen to them.  They are your big sisters for a reason, and lastly Wei Tak.  He's smart, very smart, you may fight with him now at the age you are at, but when you are older, Wei Tak will be one of your best friends, scratch that, he will be your big brother that he is suppose to be.  And he loves you more than you can imagine.  Follow him, he has big dreams and a big future.  Whether you work with him or not, believe in him.  He can do it.

16 year old Wei, believe in yourself.  If you think you can play the guitar.  Don't dawdle, start soon.  Cause if not, in 10 years you will anyway.  You're going to take classes and have a pretty awesome teacher.  Follow your heart young Wei.  Don't get discourage, learn to keep on fighting.  You're going to want to quit, but you have more to gain if you don't.  Life is good, and you are the one that has to believe in that.

16 year old me.  If you are reading this, you shall be coming to the end of this letter, here are a few bonus tips.  Go to California, Mission Viejo to be exact, and find a girl by the name of Kina Grannis, tell her that she's amazing, and that she's going to be famous one day.  Tell her, that she should keep singing, and sing so that everyone can hear her.  See if she will fall in love with you, because by frankly future Wei, me, would love you.  Seriously, she will be your inspiration in life, you will pick up a guitar because of her, you will travel the world to see her in concert, and her music will inspire you.  Remember that.  Buy Apple stocks NOW!!!  Seriously, they probably just came out with a colorful iMac at around your time.  Buy their stocks now, you will be freaking loaded.  They have so much stuff coming out in the near future, it will be totally worth it if you do.  Honestly, I'm typing on a Mac as I write this to you.  Bet on the Phillies 16 year old self, they will be great.  Lastly 16 year old self, life is good, life is grand even.  There may be times when you don't think so, but remember this you only have one life.  Take full advantage of it.  You have family and friends that love you.  Carpe Diem really means more than you think.  Live life to the fullest, do things you would never usually do.  You only get one of these 16 year old self.  Live it.

Sincerely,
27 year old You, Wei Kwok    

Surprise!!

I'm 27 today.  I've traveled to the other side of the world, I've met a ton of people, and I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by wonderful group of people that I can call my family and friends.  I've have lived and learned the many hardships of life.  I've worked at a young age, struggled through losing friends, and struggled with losing who I thought were people I truly loved.  However in the end, all of this doesn't matter.  What I learned most is that struggling and hardships build character.  I would like to say I as a man, have a lot of character.  I am a man who believes in loyalty, the goodness in peoples heart, the ability to be able to sacrifice, the ability to know when to let go.  I would never call myself a quitter, I would rather lose a limb before giving up.  However, I also know 27 years is still not knowledgable enough.  I don't care how old you are or whatever age the person reading this is.  Life is forever a learning experience.  You will learn till the day you die.  I will fully acknowledge right now, I do not have enough life experience to say I know everything.  That's why I love living.  It is forever a class, a roller coaster, and a place where I will feel all emotions.  I am me, and I will accept that.  If you haven't gone out there to achieve what you wished for yet, you aren't living.  I know it may be difficult for some.  However if you don't try that is the first steps towards failure.  The Great One once said, "You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take."  I hope to look back on this blog next year and say, "Wei you are fucking right."  I will never know what the future will hold.  But I am damn sure I'm ready to tackle it.

Things I miss, friendships that should have never gone away.  Some were my fault, others not so much so. Even still, sometimes I miss fucking up on things.  Time machines would be epic at those times.  I'm still the hopeless romantic.  Even after all these years.  I will dream for the stars.  I still haven't picked the right one yet.  Today on the 27th year of my life.  I will continue to grow and learn.

So enough of that.  I'm 27, and I'm going to get fucked up tonight.  I will drink my fair share of alcohol and get stupid.  I will drink until I don't feel feelings anymore.  Cause that's what I do.  I drink to not feel anything.  That's just how I roll.

Dreams...

You may or may have not read, but for a while I was having the same dream for some time now.  Lately the dreams have been subsiding, and I have been seeing it less and less.  Last night was the first time I dreamt that dream again.  I don't think it will happen again, but it's funny how things sometimes keep popping up.  The mind is a tricky thing.  It will do things when you don't even want it to, or when you aren't even paying attention to it.

Lately I've been listening to a lot of Imogen Heap and K's Choice, very good artists that I've started to listen to more closely lately.  After going to my guitar class tonight, I'm ready to commit to the instrument again.  I don't know, every time I see Kina, I'm just influenced to play, play, play.  I feel like this is what I need to do.  I got a lot of things on my plate for the upcoming year.  I have Italy to plan for, picking the guitar back up, volunteering at the animal hospital, and writing for a local paper.  I don't know why, but I decided this is a good thing.  Maybe I need all of this, I need to get my mind off of things.  Work especially, for a while now my job has not made me very happy.  I keep thinking that maybe I need to do something different, something to help people.  I know someone has to do what I do, but I'm beginning to think, "Yeah this shouldn't be for me."  However, I have to find a replacement job before I decide to take the leap of faith and leave the company.  Maybe I'll become a recruiter, or something in sales.  Something that I can be passionate about.  Something that will make me feel alive when I do it.  I don't know what that is yet, but I'll figure it out soon.  Good things happen to good people right?  Right?

I've run out of space on my 32 gb iPod.  I should've not been chincy about the getting the 64 gb.  I never knew I would run out so soon.  Why do I have to like all the songs that I like.  Gosh, music is such a big part of my life though.  I better get a new iPod.

Last thought for tonight, it's when you least expect it.  That's when some of the best things in life occurs.  May it be a flash in the pan, or just a longing look.  No one knows where or what things will happen or where they will go.  However make the best of it correct?  Yes, of course, that's all you can do.  Live life to the fullest, and don't let anything or anyone push you down.  There is more to life than what we think is important.  Life is good, life is great, and life is an adventure...remember that.

‎"Believe things will work out. How was I ever to know that the girl who broke my heart in university would lead to my soulmate? How was I to know that the ‘dream job’ I was rejected from out of college would lead me to a year of entrepreneurship and adventure in Spain? How was I to know that taking a miserable job back in the states would be just the push I needed to vow to never do something I wasn’t passionate about again? Everything works out. I mean everything. As long as you believe it will. When you do, you will find the silver lining. That will take you to the next level." - Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs was an intelligent human being, may he r.i.p.  These are words to live by.  Remember them folks.

For your listening pleasure...Imogen Heap

Time for Change

Have you ever read the book, "Who Moved my Cheese?"  It's quite and interesting read.  I've always had this notion that I would never fear change.  However, I am frightful of it.  No one enjoys it, it's just the way things are.  People fear the unknown, and I am not an exception.  However, the book, "Who Moved my Cheese," has helped me get over change.  It's not that I hate change, it's just that I like to know what I'm jumping into.  Lately though, I'm loving the fact that things are changing.  As I get older, I'm learning to embrace it more and more.  Maybe it's the fact that, the same thing has bored me now for years.  I want something that will excite me beyond belief.  Maybe this is why I'm taking the leap of faith lately to do things different.  Traveling, volunteering...writing?  I want to write so much more whether it be here, journal, or lyrically.  I really wish I can write music.  If I can learn anything, I think that's what has to be next.

So I said that traveling is key to the many things that I would like to add to my repertoire of change.  I've already begun planning next year's trip to Italy already.  I'm praying that my friends and family will be coming with me, if not no worries.  I am still excited at the fact that I will be going there no matter what.  It is what I have to do.  I need to use this Italian that I have built up inside me.  I don't know if it was a past life thing or not, but I definitely need to see this part of the world.  Everything about it is otherworldly.  I will not miss this opportunity to travel the world.  I may be young, and brash.  But I refuse to miss out on the best part of my life.  I hope to be in Europe again next year, and I'm definitely hoping to be in Japan in 2 years.  It's a place that I have always dreamed about, and I know I can get to.  These are things on my bucket list.  I want to be able to say itadakimasu in Koto, Tokyo, Hiroshima, basically anywhere in Japan.  I think this is where I'm going to leave my mark.  I'm a person that loves it.  I've been bitten by the bug.  I'm in love with traveling.  Let it begin.

Today, I came back to work.  I've realized, I've missed a lot.  To my fallen friends.  You will be missed, it's a scary time we all live in, I hope to make it to the next round.  However, if not, then c'est la vie.  It just wasn't meant to be.  However, I like to say, I've put in the time and hours in to work.  I've always been a strong believer of taking pride in the work I do.  However, it's getting harder and harder to believe that lately.  *Sigh*

Oh, and I really wanted to promote Spotify.  It's a pretty amazing thing/app.  Seriously technology is taking everything to an entirely different level nowadays.  It's kinda scary where technology is going to take us in the next 10 years.  I would never imagine having a personal computer as my cell phone...but here we are.  It's grand and scary.  Beware of the Terminator...

  

Macaroni Grill and The Walking Dead

Lets get to it shall we.  Yesterday was a very nice day back to reality.  What can I say, I'm still in vacation mode, and the only thing I can think of is hanging out with a few of my greatest friends.  It was nice just hanging with Anthony and Jay yesterday.  We went to grab lunch and then we went back to Jay's for some Boardwalk Empire and NHL 12.  Life is good, well until I go back to work on Monday.  I will never bite the hand that feeds me, so if you're expecting a salacious blog about me hating my job, I'm not folks.  Not what I'm going to do.  However, I will tell you about this epic lunch that I had at Macaroni Grill.  Good times.  Me, Ant, and Po went to this place, and every time I go, I'm always slightly surprised.  What can I say, I keep thinking, well it can't be that good, but it always pretty good.

I had the gnocchis with salsiccia and meatballs.  Delicious, ahhh, the savory tomato sauce with the mix of the little pasta/potato dumplings.  It was so intricate and delicate, you have the heaviness of the gnocchi and the lightness of the tomatoes.  To die for really.  Then you have the saltiness of the sausage, cutting through with peppers and coriander, and the lovely mix of herbs.  I know, I know, for some odd reason I put Italian food on this high horse, but I don't know.  I just love it so much.  It's just so tasty and delicious.  I will tell you this though.  It was a lot better than that Chinese food that I had in Amsterdam, that's for darn sure.  Yup yup, the meal was quite excellent.  I really have no complaints.  

Last night before I began falling to sleep, I began watching a show that I've been dying to watch.  The show is called, "The Walking Dead."  I've missed out on a lot.  I can't believe how good this show is.  It's really epic really.  I think the ideas of the walking dead is very interesting.  I've seen so many zombie movies, played so many zombie games, had dreams about zombies, this entire idea of it, well it truly scares me.  This is a genre, or rather an occurrence that is truly possible to happen in reality.  Why else would the government come up with a contingency to fight against the walking dead if it were to happen?  I don't know people, but remember this, aim for the head.  No matter who it is.  If I'm your best friend, and I get bitten or become a walking undead, I expect you to shoot or behead or whatever me without any hesitation.    We don't need anymore zombies than we do.  *Sigh* easier said than done though right.  This show makes me realize that.  Anyway, watched the first episode, and realized all these emotions were part of this show and theory, come on seriously how do you add all these emotions in the first episode, and still have a great season?  I don't know, but I'm on episode 3 and well...they did.  

So, I'm sitting here in this Starbucks, realizing to myself, life is good.  No work, no attachment to anything, good friends.  I am in a good position right about now.  What can I say, I think I need to let things go, I did and it's better.  Obviously, some things still sting a bit, but time heals all.  The less I think about it, the better it gets.  I owe nothing to nobody, however I owe it to myself to be a better person.  People say that I'm a good as it is.  I don't believe it, I believe I'm a selfish human being, and when push comes to shove, I will choose my own happiness over someone else's.  Just the way I am.  

I'm going to miss going to coffeeshops early in the morning.  When work starts again, I'm going to miss all of this.  Even if I am sitting in a Starbucks drinking a Pumpkin Spiced Latte, just drinking coffee and thinking how I'm going to attack the day is something that I like to make common for myself.  I think we as Americans lead a too fast paced of a life.  Slow it down, smell the roses, take a walk.  Hahaha, I miss walking.  I loved just walking mile after mile after mile throughout the city.  And now, I drive everywhere once again.  Maybe the country should start thinking about investing in bike lanes and walking lanes...that would be epic.  

Lately I've been seeing the people that are taking up time in "Wall Street."  Occupy "Insert Whatever Here."  Yes these people have a right to do whatever they want, this is America after all.  But why as a society do we have to put the blame on others.  When the Italians first came over, what did they do?  Complain because they weren't given opportunities?  No, they took what they had to.  We wouldn't have the mafia without them.  The Chinese did the same exact thing, why are we looking for handouts.  Go out there and look for a job, it's been a year?  Keep fucking looking, can't get what you want with the degree that you received?  Get in line, none of us did.  Don't bitch, don't complain, go out there and find something, there is something for everyone.  Don't complain that it's under minimum wage, it's better than nothing, don't complain that you need two jobs, go get another one.  Life is what you make of it, if you don't first succeed, try and try again.  You have to want it, and not expect it to be a handout.  Life is not a handout.  Life is meant to be hard.  

Whoever she or he is, they have it right.  Don't expect everything, expect nothing.  Life isn't free, earn your keep.

      

After Thoughts on Amsterdam

Well, my time in another country is over.  So what have I learned throughout this entire thing?  I've learned that being humble and experiencing things that I never thought I would ever experience is an extreme eye opener.  Honestly, we are very small in this world.  No one really gives a rat ass about us.  The only people that really care are our family and friends.  We have to live and realize, we are not the only people in this world.  There is another world out there.  We are insignificant.  Our lives have no meaning to anyone else. Everything is very petty.  Until you walk a mile in another's shoes, or live through hardships.  Traveling is crazy.  You realize and see things, you never thought would be possible.  I think my goal in life, is to travel more.  I want to live freely, see things that others haven't seen, to do things that to some, are not doable.

Truthfully, I've been down these last few weeks, and was praying and hoping to get away from it all.  And now that I have.  Everything has become pretty clear.  Live life, be merry, don't let the little things get you down.  There are worst things.  Somethings won't happen, but it's all for a reason.  Don't be afraid to take the leap of faith, don't worry what others think, don't sweat the small stuff in life.  I've given these words of advice out time after time to people.  However I never followed my own advice, now is the time to do that. I'm glad, I'm going to be happier.  I'm glad i don't have to be an emo/hipster/scene kid.  I'm glad I'm just me.  The happy go lucky guy that I am.  I'm not saying everything is rainbows and sunshines, but more and more, that goofy grin on my face is coming back, and a warmth is coming back to my heart.  I'm glad, I am not a cold heart person, I've always felt that way, but more and more, it's going away.


Enjoy the song tonight ladies and gents...I just like this band.

The Final Evening

To all of you that have been following this blog for some time now, thank you.  Thank you for being a part of this journey I call life.  Thank you for thinking this blog has been somewhat interesting, and thank you for reading it, and giving me complete sanity throughout this trip.  I've done so many things in the past week, and I would like to say everything has been a learning experience.  I don't know what or where I'll be in he next few days, weeks, months, and even years.  I just know that I am hoping to head in a better direction.  That I am heading towards something that is new and exciting, that I will be there for my friends, and my friends will be there for me.

Now that that is out of the way, lets begin the blog.  Today in Amsterdam, was once again like no other.  I finally went to the Amsterdam Zoo...or the Artis as it is known.  It was breathtaking.  Aside from all the kids running around and screaming, it was just plain old awesome.  Remember going to the zoo the first time as a child?  It was like that for me today.  It had everything that I wanted it to have.  Everything that I needed it to be.  It had it's own aquarium, giraffes, chimpanzees, gorillas, lemurs, reptiles, even a building devoted to entomology, the study of insects.  Yay!!  Anyway, the walk over wasn't so bad.  I didn't get lost, I didn't have to ask anyone for directions...it just ended perfectly.

After my little excursion to the zoo, which turned out to be a very lengthy trip.  I went in search for a Dutch dinner.  So for all you people that have been hating or complaining about why I haven't had Dutch food yet, here you go.  Authentic dutch food the way it's suppose to be.  Right off the bat, I'm going to tell you this right now, dutch food is rich.  Okay, not rich, more hearty than rich.  It doesn't have a ton of creams or silky smooth textural foods.  It has more a meat and potato type vibe.  By no means is this bad.  Just that, it's heavy, and I can only have one meal today.  And well today this would be it.  However, the dish itself was splendid.  The red cabbage type slaw with the steamed carrots, awesome.  Something about the cabbage.  It was savory sweet, they must have steamed/boiled the cabbage in a reduced honey sauce, cause it was great.  I mean really great.  Loved, loved, loved.  As for the meats, there was grilled chicken, a beef stew type side, sausage, and all of this was served under a plate of Dutch mashed potatoes.  I don't know what that consists of, but it was darn good, hella good even.  I wasn't a big fan of the stew though, however it was fork tender, and the meat was falling right off.  Quite delicious, however the wine that was reduced down in it.  Hmm...okay, I wish they would have picked a heavier port I guess...however I'm not the chef so oh well.  And the sausage?  Excellent, I wished that they had given me more than two pieces though.  But no complaints whatsoever.  Oh, and it came with some pretty awesome sides, salad, frittes, and once again the cabbage and carrot combo.  Nice.  See below for some pics.  Once again a meat and potato type dish, however for a country that is constantly rainy and cold out.  I get it.   

Side of potatoes

The most delicious cabbage and carrot side every!

Salad with hollandaise sauces...nice.

Epic platter...quite yummy

All the dishes together...awesome!

Today was the day the way this Amsterdam trip needed to end.  Perfectly, and it did.  Now as I sit in my room, preparing for bed.  I'm typing this knowing what I'm coming back to.  And the thought of leaving Amsterdam saddens me.  My brother is right, I need out of Jersey.  I need out of the environment.  I need change.  I don't know whether it'll be good or bad.  I just need it.

If I've learned anything from Amsterdam it's this.  People are free here.  There are no worries.  What they worry about can be thrown out the window.  And that's it.  They know that nothing is ever serious and that life is always good.  No matter what?  Do we as Americans realize this?  Do we know that life is good?  Or are we constantly worrying about money, food, love, and everything in between?  Be true and good to yourself people.  Life is good, life will alway be good.  No matter what is missing, you'll find that thing sooner or later.  Sometimes, you'll find it when you aren't expecting it.  That's how that is suppose to work. I will always remember and realize this.  Thank you Amsterdam...thank you Europe, thank you Kina...everything is falling into place?  I hope.  I believe so.  It has to.

"Amsterdam is beautiful, Amsterdam is like Disneyland, all these buildings and everything.  It's just like Disneyland...but this is real life for you." - Kina Grannis

Amsterdam is just like Disneyland...for adults.  Go out there and explore it.  It's amazing.

Vondelpark...and Then Some

So today I woke up with one thing on my mind.  That was to go to Vondelpark and finally see what all the hubbub is all about.  Well the day starts with me trying to get to Centraal Station.  Now after a week of doing this, it's quite easy for me to roam around the city, and do certain things.  That I have down pat.  However, since I never been to Vondelpark, I decided, okay the map says Southeast, I'll just start going east first, and then make a drastic left somewhere, and head down south.  Well the plan kind of worked.  I worked my way all the way to Haarlem.  At this point I'm completely lost, and have no idea where I'm at.  It was my goal from the beginning to get lost, but I don't know.  It just that this wasn't even on the map.  So it worried me a little bit.  However like a trooper, I kept moving forward.  Yeah moving forward was stupid.  I ended up at a park call Westerpark.  In my mind I thought, okay maybe it's just the Western portion of Vondelpark.  I walked in the park for about 30 minutes and realized, well none of the things there were part of Vondelpark.  So I've been walking in a park that I have no clue about...I begin walking out of the park, trying to find some sort of semblance to a place that I may or may not know.  I was completely lost, everything was pointing to Haarlemmerbuurt...what the hell is Haarlemmerbuurt!?!!?!  I finally settled down a bit, but there wasn't a person in site for miles...so I just kept going in one direction hoping I will find my way back.  I finally saw a nice woman.  In my mind I said to myself..."Wow, she really looks like Olivia Wilde."  So I ask the O.W. lookalike, "Excuse me miss, could you help me?"  And for once, I was so thankful that her english was perfect, just like the rest of Amsterdam.  So this lovely woman was trying to give me directions, and point out which streets go where and what.  I finally just said to her, "Look, here's a coffeeshop, why don't I get you a coffee and whatever else you like, and you point out on this map where I need to go...deal?"  With no hesitation at all she agrees and we walk in.  So I talk to Geerta for a little bit.  Really nice girl, she's going to Amsterdam U.  Where is Amsterdam U?!  Anyway, we talk and she points out on the map where I need to be heading, and after our quick run in and everything else, I wish her luck, and I'm on my way.  Yay!!!  Thank you Geerta, you were my Super-Man today.   

Well this was my downfall...going down this drawbridge after the boats had past...*sigh*

Westerpark...the Western portion of Vondelpark?

So after my little incident with the fake park not named Vondelpark, it took me another 3 or 4 miles to get to.  At this point, it's getting pretty late in the day, but oh well.  I'm going for it anyway.  So I finally arrive to the Vondelpark.  I should've just followed the signs to the Hard Rock Cafe again.  Anyway, so I finally get to the park.  The park has a 3.3 kilometer track, so I decided, you know what let me walk this, and see all the sights.  So I did, I saw the fountains, the statues, the amazing slides for kids...lucky.  Restaurants?! Movie Theaters?!  Museums??!!  Wow, this is a stacked park.  I guess...it's kind of like Central Park in NYC...but better?!  I'm questioning it now.  For the longest time I always thought Central Park was pretty amazing, however, this has seriously taken everything away from that.  Vondelpark is the king of parks.  It was awesome.  So I finish my 3.3 km walk, and I'm moving back towards the beginning.  And you know what...I said nuts to it.  I'm going to jog this thing.  So I switched into some shorts, pop on the hoodie, re-tie my chucks, and slap on the iPod.  Now don't get me wrong, I have just started doing this whole running/jogging thing.  I'm not very good at it, but I gave it my all.  I complete this little jog, and at the end of it all...I'm totally proud of myself.  However, if I ever do this again, I am going to highly consider bringing a pair of Nikes instead of my Chuck Taylors...my feet are killing me as I type this...oof fah!

Finally made it...Yay!!

Movie theater in the park?!

Part of the running circuit

So, it's a sweaty preposition for me today...and now after all of that, I forgot I had to walk back to Centraal Station.  Oh well...c'est la vie.  On the way back, I decided it would be a great idea to get lunch.  And even though it was late, and I wanted a pretty nice dinner, I still went for it.  So what did I decided on?  Well, I really wanted to try Chinese in this country.  I forgot the restaurant's name.  Dragon...something...Kitchen? I don't remember.  Well on to the food.  I had the rice dish, with duck, chicken, and roasted pork.  I also had a bowl of wonton.  How was it?!  It wasn't great, lets just say that.  It's my typical type of dish, my comfort food.  However, this was done completely wrong.  What is this thick, gooey, gelatinous, soy sauce base sauce doing on everything?  I really didn't like that at all on my dish.  Maybe the wonton soup should have given that away, but I don't know.  I thought maybe because the wonton soup wasn't that good, it would just be that only.  Nope, my entire dish wasn't that jazzy.  I guess I assumed that because Asia is so much more closer to Europe, the taste, the way they make it, the everything.  I just assumed, that it would taste so much better.  Are they making it with a European mindset?  Or maybe it was just this kitchen.  I don't know.  It just wasn't my forte.  It could've been so much better.  Oh, and you know what really grinds my gears?  Don't call it roasted, when you know all you did was throw everything in the fryer...that makes me mad.  Meh, it was a 1 1/2 out of 5 stars.  Rough, cause I hate saying a restaurant don't taste good.  However, I judge extremely harsh when the cuisine is Asian, and I'm expecting so much more.

The broth was good...very good...everything else...uhh, not so much so

It looked pretty

What is that gooey sauce on it?!

After all this fun and excitement...I just really wanted to end with an epic dinner.  So I got back to my room, showered up, sat in my bed for a little, and around 7:30 headed out for some fancy grub I guess.  And I had a great dinner.  Filet of lamb and mixed greens, with a balsamic vinaigrette sauce, and a aioli spread on the side.  With frittes and a salad.  It was amazing.  I also order myself a side of Turkish bread, and a Johnnie Walker Green Label.  This was really good.  Oh and for everyone out there saying, "Why aren't you eating anything Dutch?"  My answer is this, the dutch are only known for a few things, and some I have tried, and will be posting shortly, however in Amsterdam, the majority of the influences have come all over.  Such as Indonesian, Argentinian, Spanish, and others.  So there really isn't a Dutch, Dutch type of food.  So sorry to disappoint.  Anyway to continue with the last meal.  It was amazing.  Lamb cooked to perfection, and the Turkish Bread was awesome.  Light and airy, however the crust of the bread was that crispy and hard shell.  It was totally different, nothing I really have ever had before.  And the butter they provided, herb butter and a sweet whipped butter.  Delicious.  This was awesome.  Take a look see, it was a good dinner.  By the way, sorry the pictures stink...I forgot to turn on the flash...ugh.  Boo me. 

Turkish Bread

Lamb Filet

Salad and frittes

It was a good day.  I think everyday here has been a great day.  I hope everyone back home is doing well.  I miss you all.  However like I told Dave, I don't think I would mind if I had to live here.  By frankly, I would probably accept it with open arms.  Oh well, we'll see what happens. 

Oh, oh, and a quick shout out to Lightspeed Trading, LLC., or rather, Lightspeed Tradesk; for all you guys that are following, which I can't believe, but seriously am thankful for.  You guys are freaking awesome.  Thank you.  Specifically:  Luis, Enzo, Sean, Cip, Tom, Thaddeus, and of course my brother Wei T.  Thank you fellas.  I can't wait to just get back, go out there, and get together for drinks, that would be awesome.  

Well tonight enjoy a little TATE.

Just one of Those Lazy Sundays...Not Like One of Those Fake Sundays that almost get me Fired

Today wasn't very eventful.  This morning I woke up to a sniffling Jay, I felt so bad.  However I did see him off to the airport, the kid is going back home, and now I'm all alone.  Me and Jay chatted for a little bit, talked about things, I gave him a huge hug and sent him off, I hope he gets home soon.  The kid needs his rest.  Anyway, after seeing Jay off, I headed towards a coffee shop near Zaandam.  Not one of those types of coffee shops, just a regular coffee shop.  I had a lot of much needed writing to do.  After that, I headed towards Centraal Station, and well I noticed a lot of the stores closed, so I headed back towards my room and have basically sat around and done nothing all day.  However, I did notice one thing...Kina has posted on her Twitter that she has basically done the same thing all day.  Kina is awesome...

Anyway, like I said, lazy Sunday.  I hope everyone is watching a ton of football today, and I pray for an Eagles win...if not no worries.  Hockey has already begun, we have 2 wins, and one comes against the Boston Bruins, I'm okay with this.  Never in a million years did I think I would convert and watch hockey...damn you Jason, Dave, George, and Suzanne...now I watch and know stats.  Everyone be safe, and look forward to another great day.

It being Sunday and all...enjoy everyone.

The Grannis Experience

First and foremost, I missed Jay today, he was out sick with the flu...way to end a trip Jay.  Oh, and I swear, if I get sick tomorrow...it's going to be "POW!! Right in the kisser."  No seriously, Jay it sucked not having you there, I know I'll survive and everything, it's just that I wished you were there is all.  Stinks and more stinks.  So as of now, Jay is resting, and I'm making sure I'm staying quiet for him.  

Well, let's get into it.  So today was kind of a quiet day for me, I knew I had the Kina concert, and I knew that I wanted to at least see Jay be comfortable before I left.  So I figured I would stay with Jay at least 3 hours before the Kina concert, so around 1:00 p.m. I went for a stroll in the neighborhood, and hit up a broodje stand.  This time I was going to remember it, if I liked it or not.  Lets begin, now from what I remember last night, I think I went into a different store, however if I have learned anything from Anthony Bourdain, you don't deny a place, when the line is out the door.  So with that in mind, I went in.  The smell of this place was enchanting, really, it was an eye opening experience.  Now from what I'm hearing, this wasn't you're typical broodje...to tell you the truth, this was more of a Turkish style broodje.  My Broodje I decided will be filled with lamb kabap donner, and with the works.  This includes, a heaping blend of pickled onions, cabbage, lettuce, a mixture of regular lettuce and cabbage, and ending with 3 slices of cucumber and a slice of tomato.  And at the end of that you will receive the following with an order of frittes/chips (french fries basically).

The meal as a whole, notice the shameless product placement...

Honestly, this was a massive sandwich, delicious as well

The sandwich deconstructed

Lets begin, well what can be said?  There is a medley of flavors going on here.  And you know what?  Each of them blend so well together, they know exactly what needs to be in this sandwich or rather this broodje.  It's so precise and to the point, I honestly can't describe it.  How should I say this.  The blending mix of the creamy horseradish sauce with the tabasco and is that Sriracha I taste?  Really this sandwich is out there, and when I say out there...I mean, wow, really good out there.  By the way did I mention the bread?  It's a mixture of a pita and a baguette...I never knew that was possible...how is this possible?  I don't expect to find this back in the states...however I would really like to attempt to make one of these.  They are just so good, I can't believe I missed out on the experience yesterday.  Oh, and my last final touch on the broodje, the lamb was excellent, as excellent as you'll see when ordering a gyro for the first time.  Oh and another thing, the broodje was only 5 euros, so in American dollars that's roughly about $6.70 as of today's conversion.  Not bad considering it was a huge portion, and that you received fries and a drink with it.  

Now on to the Kina concert and the rest of the day.  Now mind you I left Jay's side at approximately 3:45 p.m., after riding the rail all the way into the central station, and then walking around till I was completely lost, well the fact is this.  I was scared, I've never been scared of walking in a city by myself before.  By frankly, I find it rather soothing, the thing is this.  I'm standing in the middle of a plaza, and I noticed nothing around me.  The fact is, if I have learned anything from Bear Grylls, I can always find my way of direction by using my watch and the sun...however today this was not going to help me at all, as you can see below, today was a Saturday, and it was massively busy.  I mean one giant cluster fuck...I've seen and have been around major congregation of people before...but this...this is an entirely different animal.  There are a shit ton of bikers, and a shit ton of trolleys, and a shit ton of people, and they are all darting around like nothing, when there are a shit ton of cars zooming in and out of streets that they should not be zooming in and out of, and if I really wanted to I could have just screamed out, "I'M A TOURIST!!" in the middle of the plaza if I wanted to, instead of pulling the Bear Grylls' stunt.  Either way, I was going to get taken away from a gypsy  

This picture does not do Amsterdam any justice on how packed it was today on a Saturday

 But, even with the odds stacked against me, I kept my composure, kept it cool, looked at all the signs and street names pointing me into the direction I needed to get going towards, and pushed my way forward.  As I was getting closer and closer to the Paradiso, I noticed signs for the Hard Rock Cafe (so Dutch).  Well, I finally ended up at the Paradiso, and all was well.  However, if I had not been so directionally challenged, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have waited in line with 4 other people, standing out there for an hour and a half. However, I made friends, and everyone seemed really cool.  So it was nice after all.  Once again, Amsterdam has a ton of Asians, and of course a Kina concert would be no exception, there were a ton of them.

As I entered the hall the excitement had built up, this was it, and of course with Kina finesse, the show was amazing.  No complaints...the only complaint I had was the fact that the Paradiso was rushing Kina off, and wouldn't allow her to do an encore.  Boo.  Oh, I definitely have to point this out.  I was the loud and obnoxious American.  Kina had asked the crowd what they had wanted to hear for the second to last song, very similar to what she had done in Philly, and of course one of my all time favorite Kina songs has to be Geneve, however Kina doesn't remember the lyrics too well, and she apologizes to me.  So, I stare at her long and confused, and the only thing I really wanted to hear, was what I have heard at every Kina concert now, and the words came flowing out of me..."Gangster's Paradise!!!"  With a blank stare, and a surprised look, Kina looks at me, we share a moment, "You know "Gangster's Paradise?"  a goofy grin spreads across my face, and I smile like I always do, and I nod my head, the crowd seems somewhat confused, but kinda into it.  I know for a fact this is one of Kina's favorite songs from childhood as it is one of mine as well...and she begins..."Oooo...OooOOOooo...As I walk through the valley of the shadow, of death..."

The concert ends with us of course doing an acoustic version of "Message from Your Heart."  And once again, and awesome time.  The concert ends with her obviously meeting ever fan, and making sure that they are all greeted with the warmth as if she has been friends forever with them, there is something about her, she is always genuine, and never fake, she will take the time to talk to you even if she's busy, and as I was telling her how awesome she was, and that I am on vacation from the states, just the simple words, I'm from the U.S., and I had to come see this concert here in Amsterdam, her first reaction was arms stretched out and she's already embracing me for a hug.  I wasn't expecting a hug I wasn't expecting anything, I just wanted to tell her she was inspiration to me, and she is my biggest idol.  However, in the end Kina will never cease to amaze me.  Her voice, her charm, and wit, and everything in between is what makes her my idol.  She will go to no end to make sure that she recognizes the fact that she wouldn't be here, without us, her fans...her Kinerds...

"But if you care i'm open, and if you need I'll stay a while.  So you can get this off your chest.  Prove to yourself without me is best." - Kina Grannis  

Kina Day

Today is the day, I get to see Kina one more time today.  Soooo excited.  Stinks though, because Jay is sick.  I was hoping to visit some more places in the city, however I don't want to push Jay too hard, kid deserves some rest.  He is leaving tomorrow and everything.  This makes me super sad, can't believe he's leaving already, and I'm already 3 days into my trip already.

It seems like my sleep schedule is adjusted accordingly.  I'm really glad I didn't sleep that first day, and I pushed myself as hard as I did.  However what sucks is that, even though I'm in another country, my brain still isn't.  So I still have the repeated dreams, and the whole entire waking up at 3:00 - 3:30 process.  Quite interesting.  I guess all that means is I have to do more things to get it off my mind.  I don't know what that would be, but I'll think of something here.  I hope Jay is up for doing a little absinthe tonight.  I really wanted to try it at least once, that or at least going to some sort of torture museum.  That sounds exciting, and if not even that, I think I would be just as excited to continue getting lost in the city.  I think that's what's going to happen.  Once again, I don't want to push Jay...

So the baseball season is over, am I surprised?  Yes, of course I am, I hate the fact that we are no longer in it, there shouldn't be any reason.  However, I guess we got beaten by the best...but Wei, they're just the Cardinals...WE...were...beaten...by the best, boy.

Anyway, not much else for now since the day is just beginning, however I will be sure to take a ton of pics for tonight, and obviously get myself even more hyped for Kina.

"If I ruled the world. Every man would see the world was his friend. Yeah, there'd be happiness that no man could end, no my friend, not if I ruled the world." - Jamie Cullum

Thought a Kina vid would be appropriate as well...

Nom, nom, nom...

As I type this, I am snacking on a Pringle chip, and a bottle of Orangina, both of these items can be brought back in the states and are quite delicious, and it's totally European.  So here is the thing everyone, today has been extremely inspiring, awe-striking, and delicious.  I have had a heck of a day today.  It all started with a nice morning coffee.  Now obviously these coffees are a little different, and well, I can't really find a good one without it there.  The lifestyle is amazing over here.  It really is, I'm watching people drink their coffee and do what they are doing, okay, cool.

So anyway, after our little coffee excursion, we decided to hit the RLD (Red Light District).  It's weird, well not really, but I mean to see all these nice people, and all the tourists walking through.  Then these women are just hanging out there...once again Europe.  Heck of a place, quite funny really.  Check it out, not that you have to purchase anything, it's just for the experience.  Especially when I was doing a social project/observation.  There are a ton of senior citizen couples perusing the streets.  It's funny because, the older ladies and gents are giggling and having a good time with it as well...excellent.  Honestly, it's such a way of life over here, all the neighborhood families would walk through and it seems like nothing is going on.  Quite fascinating how there is not much censorship in this country.  Hmmm...as an American in their country, not that there is anything wrong with their way of life, just different.  I would wonder how prudish they would think of us?

Enough of the RLD, the next portion of the day consisted on looking for Anne Frank's huis.  However we made a pitstop for lunch.  Now I know what you're thinking, you're in the Netherlands, and I should be having some sort of Dutch cuisine and all this, blah, blah, blah.  So I'm going to tell you now, don't read this section.  It's going to make you vomit.  If you're still reading, then you've been forewarn.  So me and Jay stop by a Mexican restaurant.  Yes, I know, that's pretty exotic, but it's not what I was expecting to have either.  And it turns out it was an Indian gentleman, speaking Italian, running the place.  Quite a surprise look on my face, but I still wanted to try it.  And to my expectation...well it wasn't that bad.  Pretty good even.  It's a little different, but not bad at all.  Of course as we went our merry way, we said our goodbyes and headed towards Anne Frank's House.

Of course, this section should be respected.  And everyone should go out and read the book if you haven't done so already.  A child, no scratch that, a woman of great courage wrote an entire script/novel/memoirs/autobiography, when she should have been frightened, and and on pins and needles for 24 hours a day.  Her and her family missed the liberation by only one month.  Such a tragedy.  This is the home that I had visited today.  To go through an entire museum knowing this is where someone had been captured during the time of Nazi Germany, and could have lived to survive it, if only they had not been ratted out, it is extremely somber to hear.  May her and her family R.I.P.  

After the very educational and quite emotional house, we had gone searching for the Van Gogh museum.  I feel extremely cultured today.  So anyway, we finally get to the Van Gogh Museum.  Now, this place was quite shallow and pedantic...someone please get this reference.  Anyway, seriously, Van Gogh museum...amazing.  It's nice to see the work that the man had created, nice to do a redo of a study of Van Gogh.  Love the colors, loved the muted looks, loved everything.  Now, don't get me wrong...I am not in anyway at all shaped or formed for this thing, I'm not artsy, I'm not super cultured, or even know when a picture is harsh, jagged, soft, or whatever.  I likes what I see, and I sees what I like...done and done. 

Finally, the walk home...technically this was kinda blurry, all I know is I'm in my room, I had a meal, and now I'm sitting back, blogging, and eating a lot of different snacks right now.  Thanks Jay, this is awesome!!!  Well, till tomorrow I guess, "Proost!!!"

By the way, I decided to switch it around, and put all the pictures on Facebook...sorry if you can't see them.  But, I took some pretty epic pics.  Ohh...yeah I'm done...now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to finish my Pringles and Funyuns, my beer, and my Orangina, and whatever else snacks I have.  Peace peace y'all...

"Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life. May 23rd was a Wednesday."

Name that quote...and from where...GO!

Quick updated, I had a Broodje it seems.  It was good Jay says.  From here on out, I will enjoy all my meals and savor every last bite.