Happyness

So what is the meaning of happiness?  Is it money, fame, cars, women?  I don't know know, I don't have the answers to it all.  However, I wanna believe it is the goals that we set out and achieve for ourselves in life.  Isn't it the purpose of our lives to have some sort of purpose?  Or am I looking at a too big of a goal that I'm just going to disappoint myself in life?  Is what Dave and Jay say is true?  Am I suppose to be a 99%?  Am I suppose to not try to become the 1% and make it for me and my family and friends?  I don't get it, one week I have a conversation and I want to make a difference, and the next I'm thinking maybe I can't even make a difference.  Seriously, my brain hurts.

I've always wanted more in life, I've seen what others had received, and complained that I've worked my ass off, and still have not received any sort of rewards for it.  I know I know...you shouldn't expect handouts.  And I'm not.  However it be nice to just receive some sort of sign that I'm going to be okay.  That I'll make it.  Maybe I'm just bitching, and I know I am, but it's what's on my mind, so that's what I'm doing for right now.

The conclusion of this, is that I'm very happy at the moment, I'm trying not to think too much of the future, and by frankly, I'm quite happy with the way things are now.  Life is good, I'm looking forward to my next European vacation, I'm looking forward for possibly a new job.  Looking forward to the unknown.  That's what I'm looking forward to.  I don't want to be bogged down by the thought of this unknown picture that I don't see as of yet.  This unknown purpose in life.  I guess, when the time comes and the purpose will be in front of me, I will know what to do for my decisions.  However until then...I'll keep searching for something that isn't there as of yet.  Something is bound to come, and I'm going to find it.  I don't know what "it" is.  However you know how things work, they just do.

So yesterday was guys weekend, and it was a blast yesterday.  Hanging with the boys, playing games, going to lunch and dinner, and gambling a little bit.  What made it even better, was finally learning how to play roulette a bit, and finally winning in AC again.  Life was good...very good.  The more I hangout with the boys, the more I feel like everything is okay.  I'm glad my friends are like family.  They treat you with the most respect, they crack jokes, and they love you.  I'm blessed.  I'm blessed to have family and friends that love me.  AAAHHHhhh...jazzy.

Macaroni Grill and The Walking Dead

Lets get to it shall we.  Yesterday was a very nice day back to reality.  What can I say, I'm still in vacation mode, and the only thing I can think of is hanging out with a few of my greatest friends.  It was nice just hanging with Anthony and Jay yesterday.  We went to grab lunch and then we went back to Jay's for some Boardwalk Empire and NHL 12.  Life is good, well until I go back to work on Monday.  I will never bite the hand that feeds me, so if you're expecting a salacious blog about me hating my job, I'm not folks.  Not what I'm going to do.  However, I will tell you about this epic lunch that I had at Macaroni Grill.  Good times.  Me, Ant, and Po went to this place, and every time I go, I'm always slightly surprised.  What can I say, I keep thinking, well it can't be that good, but it always pretty good.

I had the gnocchis with salsiccia and meatballs.  Delicious, ahhh, the savory tomato sauce with the mix of the little pasta/potato dumplings.  It was so intricate and delicate, you have the heaviness of the gnocchi and the lightness of the tomatoes.  To die for really.  Then you have the saltiness of the sausage, cutting through with peppers and coriander, and the lovely mix of herbs.  I know, I know, for some odd reason I put Italian food on this high horse, but I don't know.  I just love it so much.  It's just so tasty and delicious.  I will tell you this though.  It was a lot better than that Chinese food that I had in Amsterdam, that's for darn sure.  Yup yup, the meal was quite excellent.  I really have no complaints.  

Last night before I began falling to sleep, I began watching a show that I've been dying to watch.  The show is called, "The Walking Dead."  I've missed out on a lot.  I can't believe how good this show is.  It's really epic really.  I think the ideas of the walking dead is very interesting.  I've seen so many zombie movies, played so many zombie games, had dreams about zombies, this entire idea of it, well it truly scares me.  This is a genre, or rather an occurrence that is truly possible to happen in reality.  Why else would the government come up with a contingency to fight against the walking dead if it were to happen?  I don't know people, but remember this, aim for the head.  No matter who it is.  If I'm your best friend, and I get bitten or become a walking undead, I expect you to shoot or behead or whatever me without any hesitation.    We don't need anymore zombies than we do.  *Sigh* easier said than done though right.  This show makes me realize that.  Anyway, watched the first episode, and realized all these emotions were part of this show and theory, come on seriously how do you add all these emotions in the first episode, and still have a great season?  I don't know, but I'm on episode 3 and well...they did.  

So, I'm sitting here in this Starbucks, realizing to myself, life is good.  No work, no attachment to anything, good friends.  I am in a good position right about now.  What can I say, I think I need to let things go, I did and it's better.  Obviously, some things still sting a bit, but time heals all.  The less I think about it, the better it gets.  I owe nothing to nobody, however I owe it to myself to be a better person.  People say that I'm a good as it is.  I don't believe it, I believe I'm a selfish human being, and when push comes to shove, I will choose my own happiness over someone else's.  Just the way I am.  

I'm going to miss going to coffeeshops early in the morning.  When work starts again, I'm going to miss all of this.  Even if I am sitting in a Starbucks drinking a Pumpkin Spiced Latte, just drinking coffee and thinking how I'm going to attack the day is something that I like to make common for myself.  I think we as Americans lead a too fast paced of a life.  Slow it down, smell the roses, take a walk.  Hahaha, I miss walking.  I loved just walking mile after mile after mile throughout the city.  And now, I drive everywhere once again.  Maybe the country should start thinking about investing in bike lanes and walking lanes...that would be epic.  

Lately I've been seeing the people that are taking up time in "Wall Street."  Occupy "Insert Whatever Here."  Yes these people have a right to do whatever they want, this is America after all.  But why as a society do we have to put the blame on others.  When the Italians first came over, what did they do?  Complain because they weren't given opportunities?  No, they took what they had to.  We wouldn't have the mafia without them.  The Chinese did the same exact thing, why are we looking for handouts.  Go out there and look for a job, it's been a year?  Keep fucking looking, can't get what you want with the degree that you received?  Get in line, none of us did.  Don't bitch, don't complain, go out there and find something, there is something for everyone.  Don't complain that it's under minimum wage, it's better than nothing, don't complain that you need two jobs, go get another one.  Life is what you make of it, if you don't first succeed, try and try again.  You have to want it, and not expect it to be a handout.  Life is not a handout.  Life is meant to be hard.  

Whoever she or he is, they have it right.  Don't expect everything, expect nothing.  Life isn't free, earn your keep.