Happyness

So what is the meaning of happiness?  Is it money, fame, cars, women?  I don't know know, I don't have the answers to it all.  However, I wanna believe it is the goals that we set out and achieve for ourselves in life.  Isn't it the purpose of our lives to have some sort of purpose?  Or am I looking at a too big of a goal that I'm just going to disappoint myself in life?  Is what Dave and Jay say is true?  Am I suppose to be a 99%?  Am I suppose to not try to become the 1% and make it for me and my family and friends?  I don't get it, one week I have a conversation and I want to make a difference, and the next I'm thinking maybe I can't even make a difference.  Seriously, my brain hurts.

I've always wanted more in life, I've seen what others had received, and complained that I've worked my ass off, and still have not received any sort of rewards for it.  I know I know...you shouldn't expect handouts.  And I'm not.  However it be nice to just receive some sort of sign that I'm going to be okay.  That I'll make it.  Maybe I'm just bitching, and I know I am, but it's what's on my mind, so that's what I'm doing for right now.

The conclusion of this, is that I'm very happy at the moment, I'm trying not to think too much of the future, and by frankly, I'm quite happy with the way things are now.  Life is good, I'm looking forward to my next European vacation, I'm looking forward for possibly a new job.  Looking forward to the unknown.  That's what I'm looking forward to.  I don't want to be bogged down by the thought of this unknown picture that I don't see as of yet.  This unknown purpose in life.  I guess, when the time comes and the purpose will be in front of me, I will know what to do for my decisions.  However until then...I'll keep searching for something that isn't there as of yet.  Something is bound to come, and I'm going to find it.  I don't know what "it" is.  However you know how things work, they just do.

So yesterday was guys weekend, and it was a blast yesterday.  Hanging with the boys, playing games, going to lunch and dinner, and gambling a little bit.  What made it even better, was finally learning how to play roulette a bit, and finally winning in AC again.  Life was good...very good.  The more I hangout with the boys, the more I feel like everything is okay.  I'm glad my friends are like family.  They treat you with the most respect, they crack jokes, and they love you.  I'm blessed.  I'm blessed to have family and friends that love me.  AAAHHHhhh...jazzy.