The Star Wars Dilemma

Hi, my name is Wei Kwok, and I've never watched Star Wars.

Is this bad?  Seriously, this is the question I'm asking myself.  I don't know, I have no interest, I don't want to watch these movies, and by frankly it seems like I never will.  Now, honestly, does this make me a bad person because I don't want to watch this?  I feel like with all my interest and enjoyment of similar types of genre that this would be right up my ally.  Maybe it's my secret inside hipsterness that's making me not want to watch this…however I doubt that.

First of all I don't know what all the hype is about, so there's a dark side and a light side?  Is that what that is?  There's a guys that's supposedly to be someone's father.  There's a one man rebel that follows the beat of his own drum, a witty sidekick, hot princess turns out to be a sister…am I getting this right?  Everything I've learned about Star Wars I've learned from Family Guy and HIMYM.  I'm pretty sure this information is correct…correct?

I don't know, I feel like I missed the boat on this thing.  I don't want to take the time to go back and watch these movies.  I have a friend who only watched the new ones.  I have another friend who has watched them all.  I have another that's just like me and avoided the whole bit what so ever.  I feel the commitment to watch six movies to be a pain in the ass.  So yeah that's where I'm at with this movie.

Isn't there an anime version of this thing, there has to be right?  And there it is, I'm a geek, I like geeky stuff…so why don't I like Star Wars?  I'm not mystified by it, but I guess I wish I was, I'm missing out on a whole bunch of things.  Dammit Meg…dammit.

Wei Tak's Best Man Speech

Technically, it's not really a real blog post, but I really wanted this saved somewhere in case one day this thing gets deleted somehow…so here's the rough draft of this bitch…oh, and this may have started with, "If I can just say a few words…I be a better public speaker."  I don't think anyone heard it.

Best Man Speech

Good evening ladies and gentleman, to the new bride and groom, thank you so much for throwing this gracious and wonderful party. 

You know, I had a really difficult time coming up with this best man speech, heck, I keep a blog folks, and I write a bit, but this was still hard, so let’s start this off with a quote, “They say a good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really knows what goes in it.”

As you may or may not know, I’m Wei’s best-man and little brother…Wei.  Confusing, absolutely…so, you’re probably going to want to get use to that for now. 

So, me and Wei, we’ve been through a lot, for 29 years, he has groomed me into being the man that I am today.  Without him it would be quite difficult to contemplate where I would be.  We’ve gone on many adventures, from Boston to Washington and even a trip to Vegas.  Many adventures have been had. 

            Growing up with my brother was pretty awesome.  There was one experience that just bonded us forever though.  As two young kids growing up in the restaurant business, you just have to find ways to entertain yourselves.  After the previous night of watching wrestling, Wei and me decided to reenact some of the best of moves that we had saw.  Let me tell you this folks, don’t ever do reenactments near a bathroom.  As Wei was down for exhaustion sitting on the toilet, pretending to be the ropes, me, the Ultimate Warrior bounced offed the ropes to give a final clothesline…however instead of Wei going over the top rope, me and Wei may have smashed the toilet tank, and water was gushing everywhere.  While we looked in shock and awe, the only thing in my mind was, crap dad is going to see this in two seconds, and just on cue Dad comes walking in, and the next thing on my mind was…I’m out of here, and I bolted from the restaurant and hid for the next hour.  Thanks Wei for biting that bullet that day, to this day, I still don’t really know what happened after I left. 

            After that debacle, there is no man I would trust more than him, loyal to the end, trusting beyond belief.  He can smell BS, and will tell you how it is, and if you can’t deal with that, then you probably don’t really know Wei T. Kwok.  So when Wei said he was getting married, I knew that he had found the one. 

Enter the dame.  Tina Zhang.  You know that story where you’re in a crowded room, and you look up and you see the woman of your dreams, and you just know it’s love at first sight?  Well this is just like that love story, however the room is a doctor’s office, and the girl that was across the room, is the girl at the front desk, dispensing your mother’s medication.  It’s the dream folks, it’s the dream we all want, and you know what?  Tina couldn’t be any kinder and sweeter, and she makes my brother happy, which makes me happy.  Thank you so much Tina, and welcome to our happy family. 

As I look at you and Wei both tonight, I realize this is what love is, the perfect recipe, smiling, enjoying each other’s company, and becoming the best of friends.  This is how it is suppose to be, something that I wish I will achieve one day.  I said Wei was one of my greatest mentors in life, and now Tina so are you.  You have taught me what love is supposed to be like. 

And now if I can leave you with some words of wisdom from one of my favorite passage:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.”

Stuff Stuff Stuff

I finally realized, this feeling that I’ve been having lately.  Maybe it’s because it’s 2014, and moves are finally being made.  I guess it’s time right, more of that to come.  I don’t want to jinx myself before it gets here. 

Anyway, things have been the same busting my ass at work, finding things to complain about, things grinding my gears, and then the realization that Valentines Day has come and gone again, and everyone is still complaining about the commercialization of it.  I understand people it is quite commercial, but you know what, be happy, you have someone special, so everyday is a gift folks.  Obviously don’t just wait for Valentines Day, everyday should be special for that special someone.  Can you imagine only doing one thing once a year…that be pretty awesome actually. 

Oh, my brother has gotten married; I guess that’s a pretty big thing.  I’m going to tell you people this now, wedding days are great times, and fun for all, unless you’re the best man or maid of honor, you gotta keep that shit legit, and make sure you do everything to keep the best man happy.  The bride is the maid of honors problem, just kidding.  Seriously though, when you’re the best man, shit is rough, no drinking and eating, you take a crap ton of pictures and you cater to the groom’s every need.  Then again this may just be the case for Chinese weddings, and by the way, I’m not doing one of those.  I couldn’t understand the MC, and she didn’t even let me do my speech correctly fuck that shit.  God, I hate them sometimes.  Anyway, that’s my complaint for the day. 

You know what grind’s my gears, the weather this year.  No I can’t say that.  I love the snow, and I love the winter, I guess this is the first time I’m getting tired of it.  Maybe there is just a little too much of it.  Maybe because it’s killing my work flow and making my life a stressful hell, or maybe because the potholes are fucking up my car.  Seriously New Jersey, get on top of that shit, my car is getting fucked up.  I’m glad I didn’t buy a new one yet, Jebus.  Oh, and yeah, supposedly there’s another one coming our way in a couple of days.  So yes! Go Winter!

Wei Tak is Getting Married

Well here it is folks, Wei is going down for the count.  The age of our youth has come to an end, and WT is the first to bite that bullet.  It seems like yesterday that the brother I was messing around with and getting in trouble, but now well he has finally grown up.  Nothing but love buddy, I hope he had a great weekend, because I had a blast at his bachelor party.  

With some parts missing, it was nothing but good times, drinking, eating and clubbing, love you brah.  

Okay, so lets get to the next portion of this blog…the speech.  As Wei's best man, I've been having trouble coming up with this thing.  I keep thinking I'm going to be witty and think of something funny.  If I'm thinking that, then why is this coming out harder than it's suppose to be, god damn it.  I know it's not an easy thing and tons of people have done it before me.  The real question is how do I make it different and stand out?  There are three ways I can do this.  I can…

1. Create a song…yeah, I guess I can rap it, or write a song, or even attempt to play a guitar and write a song.  Idiotic?  Yes?  Of course yes, however it would be intriguingly different…holy schnikes…intriguingly is a word?  Bam, and boom goes the dynamite.  

B-T-Dub…this girl killed it…white girls…trying to make things cool since forever…god dammit.

2. Write a witty poem, with lots of sentimental value.  I don't know about this one.  I can't really make shit rhyme…so technically I can't really rap either.  Fuck…couldn't I just do N*ggas in Paris?  French toast.

3.  Okay so that leaves me with my last and final option, to go all out on the best "BEST MAN SPEECH EVER!!!"  What does this speech consist of?  Sentimental opening, funny hysterical moments, a rap song, and ending with an over sentimentalized poem.  That's it, that's how I'm doing this shit right here.  

So honestly, how many people did I fool there?   Probably not a lot, but I'm trying my best.  Anywhoo, this is where I'm at the moment, stuck on this MacBook thinking it's time I decide on my next move on this speech…god dammit…I'm screwed. 

Grind My Gears

You know what Grind My Gears?  Stupid dumb kids all across America playing a dumb, idiotic, and completely pointless game called, "Knock-out."  Let's discuss what "Knock-out," is.  It's a game where kids have created by walking up to unsuspected people, and literally hitting them in the face/head and knocking them out.  That's right, just literally knocking them out.  Not worrying about them collapsing on the floor, or getting any sort of concussion, nothing.  Oh, and did I tell you, sex, race, age, none of that matters it seems.  It's just a funny game that these kids think it's hilarious.

First off, where the fuck do you get off just hitting someone unexpectedly like that?  How the fuck is this a game?  You're not evening robbing these people, instead this is some sick and twisted enjoyment you're getting out of this.  I swear to Buddha, these kids are not learning a god damn thing.  Instead, you have these kids, and well this generation.  They're just fucking incompetent.  Racism running wild, violence running wild.  It' fucking ridiculous.  I'm cursing a lot because, honestly this has been making my blood boil for the last two weeks.  Starting out in the midwest, this is a trend that should have never happened.

Here's the kicker folks, I'll be damn if this continues and it doesn't stop.  I don't like choosing violence, but I sure as hell do not want to see a bunch of kids running around and knocking people out for no apparent reason.  So I say this now, you better hope you don't run into someone that isn't going to get knocked out, and is going to show your face a thing or two.  If I had my say, you'll be seeing brass of some sort, and a broken arm.

You know what grinds my gears, disrespectful kids, that think this is the greatest thing on earth.  I hope someone runs up on you and slams your face to the ground…

End Rant.

Wei-isms and Other Misc.

Lately I've been looking back and reflecting on my life.  I've realized something about myself.  I say a lot dumb shit.  Seriously a lot of dumb things.  Lets take the first one for example.  I once sat in Dave's car, and on our way home from Suze's I just looked out the window and after a minute pause all that came out was…"Sprinkler's."  Yup, that's me in a nutshell really.  Too me, I have a few pretty clutch lines that I go to back and forth with…let's explore some Wei-isms.

1.  Buckets

I honestly got this off of Dave.  Dave said he got this off of college.  All I know is that I use it for everything that is good in life.  However this didn't come into real play until me and Dave became beer pong partners or beirut.  Whatever you want to call it…just remember, every shot you make…it's buckets.  

2.  Chile today, Hot Tamale

My go to joke when the whether is either cold or hot outside.  Sometimes you gotta bring back the classics, and this is such a Wei line, I don't even know who else uses this thing anymore, it's just funny and happy to me.  So if someone ask you what the weather is in South America, just let them know, it's Chile today, and hot tamale.  

3.  Epic

This is some good college verbiage learned from college.  Georgie introduced the line, Wei decided to keep the it and continue using it.  I don't know, I sure hear Charlie Sheen using it nowadays.  But fudge it, that's a Wei line now, so accept it.  

Hmm…realizing how hard this is now Jay, dammit.  This may be a a task that is completed within a few posts.  Let's see how this works out…until the next set of Wei-isms

Oh Hey 29, What's Up?

My last post was on September 5, 2013.  It has been quite some time, and well.  There have been many things going on in my life.  Well, I guess there is.  It's been a tumultuous two months.  First off, work has gotten ten times better.  I guess you can say I started working with one of the greatest people on earth again.  That's right, me and the Shirleynator is back together again, brining down all those mortgage defaulters.  Yup that's right, that's happening.  What else can I say, the duo is back, and that's just the first thing that has happened in the past two months.  It's great.

Well that's some good news, seriously, why wouldn't it be right?  Any bad news?  Not that I can think of right now.  All my friends are getting married that's another biggie that has been going on around here.  I guess, I'm just waiting for everyone else to just hit that mark I guess.  Man, I am fucking up, I'm just really falling behind here.  Does that make sense?  Seriously, does it?  I guess it does, I'm am just not doing anything…save me JEBUS!!

Well, I guess that's not all true.  I've been bitten with the smitten bug again.  It has been a while since this happened I guess.  I guess really since the B word.  Man, the B word was pretty nice pretty.  I always thought she was.  That's just how it was back in the day, I guess it still is now.  However, I guess as I get older, I just don't give a shit anymore.  For me though, I've always been one of those picky bastards.  Takes a lot for me to be smitten I guess…this shit better work.

Sports sports sports…sometimes being a Philly sports fan sucks, and well this year has been extremely craptacular.  Phils are out, Eagles aren't doing so hot, Flyers just suck, and well…I'm hoping the Sixers suck for Wiggins.  #WinlessForWiggins Indeed.

Oh hey, you know what was awesome.  My 29th birthday.  I don't remember too much of the festivities, but I know that it was an amazing night.  Let's begin with dinner shall we.  A nice Chinatown meal with some of my closes friends.  Not everyone was there, i.e. Dave and Steffie.  But close enough.  The second part of the night?  Well, that's where it gets extremely hazy.  Kinda like the Moors of Scotland.  I remember having my first drink, a Ginger and gin drink.  Tango did not have any Tanqueray for some reason.  Oh, well.  Oh, and keep in mind they were having a Halloween party at this place. My second drink, I don't another Gin and Ginger.  It's the third drink that kind f*cked up my shit.  I know Ying made me spill by 3rd gin and ginger, but like a hero, George came through in the clutch and gave me his Samuel Adams Octoberfest.  This is where things start to get hazy.  First off, never buy bottle service at a club.  Secondly, never buy a bottle of Ace of Spade champagne at a club.  That's just idiotic.  Unless you're Jay-Z…and I am not Jay-Z.

That's just plain old silly Wei…plain old silly.

So the night goes on, Wei does some rapping, and well, Wei also does some vomiting.  If I could remember this night, I would.  However this night also brought along me breaking my car keys somehow.  I don't know how, and I don't really remember when.  It just happened.  Thanks guys and gals, 29 is going to be memorable.  Lets see what 30 will bring us shall we?

So this has been my life these last couple of months.  Trust me, I'm brining the blog back in a way of some sort.  For better or for worse, this thing isn't going away yet.  I'm still going to be writing and talking about my dumb shit that I go through.

Yup this is happening enjoy folks.  Ball so Hard