A Girl From Vienna

It has been a day since you left.  I met an amazing girl from Vienna.  You were my waitress, and you were the first thing I noticed at this wedding.  As we partied the night away.  I've always had my eyes on you.  Never taking them away.  As I slowly consumed all the alcohol that my body could take, I consumed enough courage to ask you for your number.  To my surprise you gave it to me.  I ended the night too inebriated to remember, but the only thing I remembered was your glasses and that perfect smile.  From that moment I was hooked.  I never waited the three day rule...by frankly I couldn't I only had 2 more days.  I texted you that night.

I woke up hungover and groggily, and not to my surprise, no text.  Figuring the number you gave was a fake.  I went to brunch.  Extremely hungover and eating my eggs I got what I was waiting for.  Your text buzzed so hard I was startled.  We started talking and I asked you out.  You said yes.  We were going to meet for Filipino food at Hotel am Brillantengrund.  As we had dinner you told me about your passion, I told you I had the same.  We talked about so many things.  I introduced you to my hero Mr. Bourdain and the joys of travel.  We walked talked and enjoyed the local district you lived in.  We were supposed to meet Steffy at 10, but we loss track of time due to talking.  We didn't meet them til 12.  :P We went out for a few more drinks and said our goodbyes.  Not thinking we would see each other again for an entire day the next.  But we did.

You took me to one of your favorite markets because thats what you love.  Seafood was on the agenda.  We got a major seafood platter with the works.  And you had scallops, real scallops for the first time.  You were amazed.  I showed you flavor combinations such as adding acid to dishes to make them pop.  You smiled, that God damn infectious smile.  It was stunning and breathtaking at the same time.  You do the most inappropriate thing when you love a plate.  You pick it up and lick it.  I loved it.  It was so you and you gave it so much character.  After lunch you showed me around town.  Taking me to your favorite spots and walking the city, just never stopping never thinking of anything, not having any direction.  From market to market, story to story.  I was learning you lived an amazing life.  From bartering in Peru, to living in Cuba for a month like a commoner.  Couch surfing was your thing.  Your free-spirit and soul.  I started falling like a star for you.  I thought this is it.  I found the one.  As our night was concluding, I thought I never see you again, having it so abrupt, I thought something was budding.  I was on a flight to Croatia, never thinking I see you again.

As I was in Croatia doing my Croatian things.  I received a text from you.  You booked a flight to NYC.  You were going to be staying with me for 2 weeks.  I quickly obliged and offered to house you.  There was no way I say no to you anyway.  The next week and a half was grueling, I couldn't wait to see you again.

September 17, you arrived and we had our first meal in our town.  Hotpot.  I knew you liked it but not for me.  I was quickly learning you love your veggies.  You are definitely not a meat eater.  And soon enough I was becoming to know your likes and dislikes.  We were together for two whole weeks.  I took you to places you've never been and you did the same for me.  You took me to Manhattan, I took you to Brooklyn.  We were two peas in a pod.  You introduced me to your friends and I introduced you to mine.  I was living a dream.  And every night that I could.  I hugged you and kissed you.  Everything was a happy dream that was about to come crashing down.

It was the last full day in Brooklyn.  I was going to take you to as many places as possible.  I was going to ask you your favorite places and things.  I was going to ask you about us.  When I did, I didn't think I was going to hear what I was going to hear.  It wasn't going to workout.  There was never anything between us.  This was just it.  My heart grew weary, devastated again.  I sat there eating my biscuits and gravy.  I had tried to give you everything.  And I did.  Did I do something wrong?  Where did I mess up?  You said I didn't, you said I was perfect.  I didn't do anything wrong.  It just wasn't there.  My heart sank to my stomach.  It has been almost 10 years since I've felt this way.  Since Bjonda.  I've been guarded and jaded.  I only really go for the random hookups and the Tinder/Bumble lifestyle.  Because I knew I couldn't be hurt or broken that way.

I never will blame her.  This was my own doing.  Did she lead me on.  Probably not, this was just her demeanor.  Friendly, warm, and bubbly.  She is who she is.  And what it is it is.

The last day with her, I couldn't breathe or be around her.  Still reeling from the devastation, but I trucked on making sure to make her last few hours here amazing as I could.  After all, what kind of host would I be?  As I dropped her off at her stop so she could take the train to the airport I gave her one last kiss and a hug and saw her off.  I cried on the subway back home, not caring who saw.  I was officially a New Yorker.

I don't know if I'll ever see her again, or even talk to her again.  Extremely selfish on my end.  I know.  But for one brief moment in my life, I was extremely happy.  I don't think I could ever turn my feelings off for her, I don't even know if I could ever talk to her again.  But I hope she knows a part of her soul is with me.  And I hope a part of mine is with her.

To the girl I met in Vienna.  I will always love you.

I'm Thankful for Change

Well, I've been missing these last few weeks.  Sorry everybody, it has been hectic in my world, and yes who the hell am I that anyone of you people should care.  You shouldn't I'm nobody.  Just some guy who's trying to make the world a little better.  I don't know how.  I'm just trying to, move out of the way everybody, the "Decider," is on his way through.  

Anyway, Thanksgiving week is nearly over.  A majority of us shall be back to work tomorrow, and I know we can all be thankful for having the jobs that we have.  I guess...However what else is there for us to be thankful for?  I know, I know, we shouldn't just be thankful on this one day of the year, however it's just this time of the year that makes you reflect you know.  

I've been saying a lot lately that I'm looking forward to this change that is coming in my life.  Lots of people are telling me, just because going somewhere different will not make things that much different now.  I don't know about that though, I like that in the end, I will be forcing myself to make new friends.  As of now, I got that feeling that I'm just stuck in a rut.  Feels like more and more I'm going back to my alcoholic ways...well okay not really but drinking alone at a bar with no friends suck sometimes.  But you really do get to meet some interesting characters at a bar when you're with no one else.  So yes, I am thankful for that as well.  I like the experience of drinking at a bar and people watching and talking to the locals at my local dive/watering hole.  

I'm also thankful for my old company, Phelan.  They gave me the push I needed to really make the choices that are quickly approaching me.  I guess, these last few years I really haven't been the all I can be Wei.  However, Wei's back!  Hahaha...Wei's back.  I'm thankful for Black Fridays where all I do is drink champagne and mimosas.  I'm Thankful for cyber Mondays where I can do my shopping without the hassle of dealing with all the shoppers from Black Friday.  I'm thankful as always for Family and Friends of course.  I'm thankful for a ton of shit. 

So why is it that I need change?  Because becoming complacent will never get you anywhere in life.  I want that challenge.  It's the only way to grow.  I don't want to fail, but at the same time I can't fear the reaper, that will eventually lead to my downfall and failure.  This will eventually lead me back to everything I need to do in life.  EVERYTHING...

Anywhoo...Thanksgiving, this year there was a shit ton of food.  A little too much food.  However, I do enjoy the challenges of cooking a great meal.  I enjoyed the turkey this year.  However, I think it's going to be the maple brine for my next greatest turkey.  I gotta admit though, the whole cooking process this year was awesome, I had a really really good time with it.  I can't wait for the next holiday...Christmas, and it looks like I'm doing a prime rib roast this year.  So I'm very very excited.  Not as much food as Thanksgiving, however it's going to be a lot more different and exciting.  

It's slowly coming to an end everyone.  On to the next holiday I guess.  Bring on Stressmas, and everything that has to go with it.  Time to buy some gifts I guess.  Yay!

What a Weekend

Oh wow, so I'm finally back home, it was such a wonderful weekend, you have no idea how fantastic it was.  So lets get to it shall we.  Yesterday was the best days of the year so far.  Playing croquet and drinking champagne...classy folks.  Very classy.  I loved each minute of it.  Being able to play a course that Dave made, and be drunk at the same time.  Epicness all around really.  Btw, my apologies to Dave, he clearly had the game won and in the bag, however someone had to ruin his chances, i.e. me.  Yea, I blasted the boys ball out of here and into space, not really, but i did knock it out of the way to give Steph's Mom the come from behind win.  Go me...I'm epic.  

As for food, well I of course had a wonderful meal.  Once again a lovely pasta dish with broccoli florets, and wait for it...side of broccoli rabe.  I love broccoli rabe, especially when it is made with garlic, olive oil, and a little salt and pepper.  Fantastic.  We also had steak yesterday as well.  Ahh...the joys of cooking and eating steak.  Now Ms. P. doesn't usually let anyone in her kitchen, however this is the second year now where I was allowed to handle the grill, and I like to say I did a fantastic job at it.  ^___^

Okay, now that the food is out of the way, lets talk about the rest of the day.  As you may or may not know, I am a drinker.  I enjoy my occasional scotch and hard liquors.  I've never moved to wine or beer, or any of those outsider alcohols...the ones that I prefer to as non-spirit drinks.  I'm a firm believer of keeping things old school and that a man should be able to handle his liquor properly.  Because of this school of thought, I don't drink wine, and I don't drink champagne very often, however when I do, I do for the fun of it.  Yesterday was the first time I have ever been wine/champagne drunk.  I literally had a great buzz going since 2:00 p.m. yesterday.  And you know what, it was worth it.  As I sat there drinking bottle after bottle, and listening to great story after story, it dawned on me.  I lead a very awesome life.  Go me...

Oh, and for Davie and Jay, yeah yeah yeah, I cried during the story big whoopee do...you guys are mean.  All in all, 5 star weekend...and in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have brought that $70 bottle of wine...stoopid on my end, I know.