Yesterday I said something about a quarter life crisis. Well. I'm at that point in my life. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't even know what I want to do is going to be accepted. My whole life I've been seeking some sort of approval from my parents, and now, well they're taking away one of my dreams. I'm kinda sadden and extremely disappointed. Now I have to make the decision. Do I follow their rules? Or do I bend everything and say fuck it to both my rents and my religion.
I've never been a fantastic Buddhist. However I've always had the faith, and believed that I did a majority of the good part. Be good to others, don't kill insects or bugs, listen to my parents. I did it all. However here I am, while everyone else is moving forward with their lives, I'm stuck at a stand still. Not knowing whether the move I'm making is correct or not. If I can't open a sandwich shop...what am I going to do with my life? I don't really have a plan for that yet.
Okay, well I lied. I have a plan. I'm just not sure if it's a great plan. I've decided, if I can't do what I love, what else can I do in the same food field? That doesn't involve meat? What the fuck? I don't know. However the thought that I came up with, what about real Italian gelato? There's not a lot of gelato places in Jersey. If I stay in Jersey maybe this is where I have to go. If not, I think I'm going to have to break some rules. I want sandwiches. Maybe it's my time to rebel.
This is where I'm at in life. I don't know what to do now. I'm running out of time. I'm falling behind my peers. I'm not doing it right? So now what? Where am I going from here? No career, living at home, poor options. Dead end job...and here's my quarter life crisis. I want change, change where I know where my life should be. Not here, not now, not ever.
...damn.
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