A Girl From Vienna

It has been a day since you left.  I met an amazing girl from Vienna.  You were my waitress, and you were the first thing I noticed at this wedding.  As we partied the night away.  I've always had my eyes on you.  Never taking them away.  As I slowly consumed all the alcohol that my body could take, I consumed enough courage to ask you for your number.  To my surprise you gave it to me.  I ended the night too inebriated to remember, but the only thing I remembered was your glasses and that perfect smile.  From that moment I was hooked.  I never waited the three day rule...by frankly I couldn't I only had 2 more days.  I texted you that night.

I woke up hungover and groggily, and not to my surprise, no text.  Figuring the number you gave was a fake.  I went to brunch.  Extremely hungover and eating my eggs I got what I was waiting for.  Your text buzzed so hard I was startled.  We started talking and I asked you out.  You said yes.  We were going to meet for Filipino food at Hotel am Brillantengrund.  As we had dinner you told me about your passion, I told you I had the same.  We talked about so many things.  I introduced you to my hero Mr. Bourdain and the joys of travel.  We walked talked and enjoyed the local district you lived in.  We were supposed to meet Steffy at 10, but we loss track of time due to talking.  We didn't meet them til 12.  :P We went out for a few more drinks and said our goodbyes.  Not thinking we would see each other again for an entire day the next.  But we did.

You took me to one of your favorite markets because thats what you love.  Seafood was on the agenda.  We got a major seafood platter with the works.  And you had scallops, real scallops for the first time.  You were amazed.  I showed you flavor combinations such as adding acid to dishes to make them pop.  You smiled, that God damn infectious smile.  It was stunning and breathtaking at the same time.  You do the most inappropriate thing when you love a plate.  You pick it up and lick it.  I loved it.  It was so you and you gave it so much character.  After lunch you showed me around town.  Taking me to your favorite spots and walking the city, just never stopping never thinking of anything, not having any direction.  From market to market, story to story.  I was learning you lived an amazing life.  From bartering in Peru, to living in Cuba for a month like a commoner.  Couch surfing was your thing.  Your free-spirit and soul.  I started falling like a star for you.  I thought this is it.  I found the one.  As our night was concluding, I thought I never see you again, having it so abrupt, I thought something was budding.  I was on a flight to Croatia, never thinking I see you again.

As I was in Croatia doing my Croatian things.  I received a text from you.  You booked a flight to NYC.  You were going to be staying with me for 2 weeks.  I quickly obliged and offered to house you.  There was no way I say no to you anyway.  The next week and a half was grueling, I couldn't wait to see you again.

September 17, you arrived and we had our first meal in our town.  Hotpot.  I knew you liked it but not for me.  I was quickly learning you love your veggies.  You are definitely not a meat eater.  And soon enough I was becoming to know your likes and dislikes.  We were together for two whole weeks.  I took you to places you've never been and you did the same for me.  You took me to Manhattan, I took you to Brooklyn.  We were two peas in a pod.  You introduced me to your friends and I introduced you to mine.  I was living a dream.  And every night that I could.  I hugged you and kissed you.  Everything was a happy dream that was about to come crashing down.

It was the last full day in Brooklyn.  I was going to take you to as many places as possible.  I was going to ask you your favorite places and things.  I was going to ask you about us.  When I did, I didn't think I was going to hear what I was going to hear.  It wasn't going to workout.  There was never anything between us.  This was just it.  My heart grew weary, devastated again.  I sat there eating my biscuits and gravy.  I had tried to give you everything.  And I did.  Did I do something wrong?  Where did I mess up?  You said I didn't, you said I was perfect.  I didn't do anything wrong.  It just wasn't there.  My heart sank to my stomach.  It has been almost 10 years since I've felt this way.  Since Bjonda.  I've been guarded and jaded.  I only really go for the random hookups and the Tinder/Bumble lifestyle.  Because I knew I couldn't be hurt or broken that way.

I never will blame her.  This was my own doing.  Did she lead me on.  Probably not, this was just her demeanor.  Friendly, warm, and bubbly.  She is who she is.  And what it is it is.

The last day with her, I couldn't breathe or be around her.  Still reeling from the devastation, but I trucked on making sure to make her last few hours here amazing as I could.  After all, what kind of host would I be?  As I dropped her off at her stop so she could take the train to the airport I gave her one last kiss and a hug and saw her off.  I cried on the subway back home, not caring who saw.  I was officially a New Yorker.

I don't know if I'll ever see her again, or even talk to her again.  Extremely selfish on my end.  I know.  But for one brief moment in my life, I was extremely happy.  I don't think I could ever turn my feelings off for her, I don't even know if I could ever talk to her again.  But I hope she knows a part of her soul is with me.  And I hope a part of mine is with her.

To the girl I met in Vienna.  I will always love you.

It Was Only A Matter of Time

Hey 2018.  You've been good to me.  Honestly I'm just writing this so I won't forget you.  As I stare at this screen blankly with my heart a flutter, I'm dreading the next few days.  Knowing that my time with you is quickly fading.  I'm going to treasure each minute.  I'm going to treasure you.  I'm 33 years young.  I still have no idea what I'm doing in life.  I'm trying to live my best life.  I'm trying to find the one.  Last couple of years have been play.  Now when it seems like I'm about to put all my eggs in one basket again.  You arrived...out of the clear blue sky.  How am I going to reach you?  My brain hasn't stopped moving a mile a minute. No matter how much I'm trying to make it stop.  Where is my future taking me?  I still don't know.

Trump's America

My last post was Friday, January 8, 2016.  A lot has happened since then.  Death's of so many we have loved and cherished.  From David Bowie, Prince, Gene Wilder, and even today Leonard Cohen. It has been one nasty upsetting year, with back to back to back sadness all around.  But that's not the biggest upset that has been on my mind lately.  The biggest disappointment and upset is the fact that we have possibly the biggest misogynist, sexist, racist, homophobic, xenophobe running our country at the moment, and his name is Donald Trump.

And before we start lets get this out of the way.  I in no way, shape or form a bleeding heart liberal.  I don't like the fact that our country is being forced upon to have politically correctness in ever corner of every state.  No by no means am I that.  However I am a strong believe of right and wrong.  And right now things are increasingly wrong.

I honestly believe we live in a sad state of affairs currently at the moment.  From the very beginning of this election year, it was dirty, sleazy, and slimy.  And it wasn't just all the republicans doing.  The liberals had a healthy dose of it as well.  From Clinton's underhanded move to kick Bernie Sanders, to her now known e-mail scandal [which honestly wasn't really that terrible].  However, at the end of the day Trump is now our President and shit has hit the fan.  Whether you like it or not, he is our 45th president.

I've been thinking this, can one man, take all that was good from President Obama, and reverse all of his good that he has done in one fell swoop.  This is the president we have chosen, and well, this is what we have to live with now.  We have a president that said, "Grab them by the Pussy," "We'll build a wall," this is our future, this is our president.

However, lets think about this, how much can this person change, and will he?  It already looks as though he may not repeal the whole Obamacare act.  It looks as though he just may change some things from it, I'm okay with that.  However what about our global warming issues?  Gay rights? Immigration issues, the whole shebang?  Already so much is being done to turn everything, really?  Has a president that pushed us so far ahead, is going to be replaced by a president that is going to set us back by 60 years?  And I get it, for all you Trump supporters out there, I get it, you're a whiny liberal, you lazy millennial what the fuck do you know, so on and so forth.  Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.  I work 50-60 hours a week, I'm a debt negotiator and I help people for a living.  I think that's the most important thing for me.  I help people, is that so wrong?  During a time like this, I just want people to be good to others, I do want unity.  However it's hard to see that, when all I see is people out to get each other.  There has to be a better way.

When I see riots from the liberals, and slandering and hate acts/crimes against minorities, what do I say?  What do I do?  I'm clearly not going to stand for it if some person decide to grab a woman "by the pussy."  I'm going to knock your fucking lights out, that's just going to be my initial reaction.  We just can't allow this.

Here is what I am afraid of, I have a niece, she is almost 2 years old.  By the time the next elections rolls around, she will be almost 6 years old.  How do I explain this to my sweet angel of a niece, who is innocent beyond anything, that she lives in a country that doesn't give two shits about her, and her future.  I'm afraid that she will not have a future in this country that I love the most.  My sister asked me today, should we move to Canada?  I told her, absolutely not, I'm not Canadian, I'm an American. I love this country more than anyone else.  I'm a gun toting, red meat eating American.  I watch my sports drink my scotch and call it a day.  I have no conceptions at all of moving.  This country is my home.

I posted the following on Facebook the other day after the election: "Woke up this morning thinking of posting something witty and clever like, "Yay, we can now all be friends again!" But maybe it's not time for that. What's done is done, and we have 4 years of Trump. Whether you like it or not it's happening. What we can do is just try to be kinder to each other. I honestly don't use social media as much as I do during the political season due to all the vitriol that is flung at each other. So this is me, being as pragmatic as I can...let's just stop being dicks towards each other, and just get through these next 4 years together. For my friends that are freaking out and are scared shitless, I feel your pain, I'm also scared shitless. Still trying to believe there is humanity in people. Love you guys, no matter what side of the fence you sit on."

It's time to listen people.  I think we are in the conundrum that we are in because a man took advantages of the fear and despair that a large portion of our country is in.  Maybe Trump is the change that the American people need to see.  Maybe this is the for the best, whether it be a debacle or train wreck, or maybe, just maybe a blessing in disguise.  I don't know where the future is taking us, I honestly don't know if I like it or not either.  Someone on Facebook wrote, it's now time to nut up or shut up, explain to me why you're afraid that Trump is going to be president.  I had to think about that for a bit, I think the main reason I'm afraid, is that it brings hate.  Hate from both sides, and  for some odd reason it's okay to have this hate.  I doubt I'm going to write another post like this about politics again.  By frankly I'm not witty enough or smart enough.  However the next time I do write one, I pray that good has happen and that good is being done.  Best of luck Mr. Trump.  Please make the changes that you said you would, and please don't ruin the lives of so many people that have acquired their recent freedoms.

Girl of My Dreams

The last time I wrote in this thing it was on August 15, 2015.  Figure I better write something in this thing for 2016.  First recap of 2015 shall we?  2015 started off with me being 30, unemployed, and not having a clue what I was doing with my life.  Then along came a new apple of my eye, little Rylee Grace Kwok.  A few weeks later my brother was going through a pretty harsh divorce and his world was turned upside down.  I do know I stepped in, and nanny and did what I could to take care of this new little one in my world.  I'm glad I was unemployed.  I learned a lot on being a dad, and taking care of a child.  Besides Rylee, there were a few more changes, I watched one of my other best friend get engaged, I helped look at rocks and ring sets and I feel I even know a little more about rings than I could ever possibly imagine.  Congrats to him and his beautiful fiancé Trish.  

This will lead to a great segway into my main portion of my blog here.  Have you ever met the woman of your dreams before?  If you have, I have to say congratulations.  I'm really happy for you.  I'm beginning to thing I haven't yet.  However, I have now seen her, in my dreams.  I've literally seen the woman of my dreams last night...in my dreams.  What I really hate about it though, is that my dream was so vivid, and I was so in love with this pretend woman, that I am now writing about it.  However, throughout the entire time of my dream, I just knew it was a dream, and it just sucks now.  Cause I honestly did not want to wake up after I was having this dream.  

By the way, this dream consisted of meeting this wonderfully beautiful, kind, and just purely angelic woman, and then us getting married.  We had this elaborate wedding, and it was just filled with colors.  Flowers of all colors, paintings of all different colors, it was just bright and amazing.  All my friends and family were there, and it was just amazing.  

Now after all this, I'm trying to figure out what does it all mean.  What does in all hell does this mean?  Well I looked it up with my trusty Google, and most of the meaning consist like this.  "If you dream of own wedding, at which you are a groom or a bride, it means that you should be ready to stunning success. Perhaps some undertaking will be widely known and will become very popular."

This has got me thinking, it means I'm in for stunning success...at my new job?  Or a new job to come. I don't want to think about it too much.  But this makes me pretty happy.  It has been an exciting year, I'm ready for change.  I'm ready for the big move to NYC, I'm ready for the life altering  job, I'm ready for someone new and exciting to enter my life.  

I guess me at this old age just wants to settle down and find someone nice as well.  I'm not sure what made me happier, the journey I had with this girl in my dream, or the actual wedding itself.  All in all, I really do think it's a sign, and I'm hoping these dream dictionaries are right, and it's a sign of good things to come.  

First Time I Ever…Roasted Peking Duck Edition

It's Monday, and you know what that means, another edition of the first time I ever.  Today's dish…roasted Peking duck.  I'm not going to lie, this is not going to be easy.  I was an extremely young kid when I had Peking duck for the first time.  So I'm going to remember it as much as I could.  I had to be at least 6 or 7, and I was in my parent's restaurant in Blackwood, NJ.  Ku Fu Kitchen I believe it was, anywhoo I remember my father coming back from Chinatown in Philadelphia, and he carried with him these two greasy brown paper bags.  As a little kid looking up from the metal prep table, I saw him pulled out two giant birds, one was a brown smooth roasted chicken, and the other?  The succulent, lacquered dark skin beauty, with the waft of cinnamon, soy, ginger, garlic, and so much other spices in the air.  What was this magical animal that my dad was chopping up, and I'll tell you what it was, it was the magical Peking duck.

I remember how my dad set it up, plate, breast side on one side and the dark meat on the other with the drumstick sticking out.  Since I was the youngest and most spoiled, my dad gave me the best part, the drumstick.  I remember dunking it in the delicious sauce that it came with on the side, and I took my first bite.  It was this savory bite of this delicious meat, not gamy at all, and the skin, oh my god, the skin.  It was this crispy sweet taste and delicious with the savory meat and dripping with grease and salty sauce.  I took that whole thing and made sure I dipped off all that sauce into my rice and gobbled that entire thing down.  I was pretty happy about the experience from what I remember, because every chance I get, I order duck.  Oh, and if you are going to complain to me that that is not peking duck, well fudge off.  I didn't have hoison sauce and I didn't have pancakes.

Well that's how that goes, now i wish I had more Peking duck right now.  Mmmm…tasty.

First Time I Ever…Cheesesteak Addition

This is by far my favorite food on earth.  If I was dying and I had to request a last meal, it would be a John's Roast Pork cheesesteak with American Cheese and fried onions.  Ahhh, death wouldn't be so bad with one of these things in the wings.

However my first foray into Philly cheesesteaks wasn't  JRP, I went down the path of so many other Philadelphians and tourists.  My first cheesesteak was at Pat Olivieri's.  Pat's King of Steaks.  I remember it being the best thing I've ever had.  Now mind you this wasn't my first cheesesteak ever, but my first Philly Cheesesteak ever, everything else was a Jerseyian steak, with American cheese and mushrooms.  However Pat's, everything was a process, where to park, ordering it, where to eat it, what can I get, do I order drinks or fries?  Everything was a process.  I remember my first approach at ordering, I made sure I had the lingo down, all I ever heard was, make sure you order it correctly don't fuck up the ordering process.  Just remember these two words, wiz wit, or if you don't like onions, wiz witout.

I always remember parking close to 10th and E. Passyunk, and then walking a block towards Federal to get there, not a far walk, but enough to get me to memorize those to words.  I remember standing there at 1 a.m. with my brother, still in middle school and watching all the drunk people stumbling and ordering their sandwiches.  My brother let me order it on my own, and I order my first wiz wit.  I remember asking him where did he want to eat, we were going to sit on those red benches, but someone took our seats, so we walked backed to our car and got ourselves ready for a meal.  This wasn't my brother's first, but I remember him waiting for my reaction.  I took my first bite, and everything burst out of it, cheese, onions, grease, steak.  It was a glorious greasy mess, a delicious greasy mess.  I remember the chopped up ribeye, those oh so tender chopped onions, and that luscious tasty tasty molten lava of cheese wiz.

When you have your first Philly steak, you're going to remember it, I sure did.  I've gone on to have many many many more cheesesteaks in Philly some great, some not so great, but I always remember my first, and boy was it mighty mighty tasty.

First Time I Ever...

I decided it has been a little bit since I've wrote a new blog, and well since I'm writing a new blog in August I wanted to do an entirely new segment called, "First Time I Ever."  This segment will consist of me explaining my experience of eating whatever it is I ever ate for the first time ever.  I figure I'll do this every Monday, and for today, I'll let you know how my first time I ever ate pho went.  So with that, on to the show. 

Ahhh…pho, who doesn't like a big brothy delicious bowl of goodness with meats, noodles, and veggies.  I guess the first time I had pho was in Philadelphia in 99.  Still in high school, still young wild and free; and food to me was good, but never as important as it is to me now.  Growing up in a Chinese restaurant, I was so sick and tired of eating Asian food at this point, but pho was different.  It reminded me of something that I never had before, and all these flavors and spices were just amazing.  

However, I ate pho like an idiot as a child.  I hate herbs as a kid.  I hate spices, I hate the way anything that wasn't to my liking tasted.  I was such a novice eating pho.  I took this vibrant delicious noodle soup dish and just demolished the likes of it.  I added and not added things that needed to be added.  Sriracha, hoison, bean sprouts, and jalapeño.  This is all okay to add, but I ate it like an idiot and just added things without even trying the damn soup; oh, and herbs, no Thai basil for me, so stupid.  Anyway lets go back to that first spoonful.  

I still remember my very first spoonful.  Soup, rare steak, and a little onion.  That first bite was just amazing.  I muddled that clear soup with hoison sauce and sriracha, but it gave me this deep and spicy spoonful.  The meat was cooked and so tender and that bite just bit right back.  I could taste everything, spicy, salty, rich, and just a hint of sour due to that squeeze of lime.  It was this amazing amalgamation of flavor and definitely sensory overload.  Now I knew why this dish was so famous and popular, across the sea.  It was everything you want in a bite of food and was just amazing. 

I'll always remember my first time I ever ate pho, and I may eat it a little differently now, but that first time will be forever ingrained in my memory.  Just so you know, how I eat pho now goes like this.  I start with tearing all of my Thai basil and place them in my soup.  I skip the jalapeño and bean sprouts, and add a touch of black pepper and sriracha, just a touch.  I take that first slurp from my spoon of that amazing full body soup, and a little piece of that basil, and all I can taste is this rich and pepper soup from the basil and it's so so so good.  

Ah, my first memory of pho…great.

Well, until next time…watch some Doug Funnie and have a clue of my first experience for my next food.  It's a sandwich.